Deep Living & Creativity

Deep Living & Creativity
With Susannah Conway

2020 was a year of everything being stripped away to reveal the things that truly matter. Health, wellbeing, taking care of one another, the simple pleasures of life...


Many of us turned to an artistic practice because we were stuck at home. But also, when crisis hits, creativity is also often the thing that saves us. And that's exactly what happened for Susannah Conway.


"It wasn't until I went through that fire that it all came together, and I had this renaissance of creativity" ~ Susannah Conway
In this episode

  • what shallow living looked like for her
  • the hugely pivotal moment that catapulted her into a much deeper life
  • how much creativity and deep living are intertwined
  • plus Susannah shares her intimate journey into perimenopause

Transcript

Susannah Conway 0:01
Photos and words have always been there. But it wasn’t until I went through that fire, that it all came together, I did have this amazing like renaissance of creativity.

Tahlee Rouillon 0:16
At this moment in time, everything is being stripped away to reveal the things that truly matter. Health, wellbeing, taking care of one another. And the things that once seemed to trivial now seem so much more potent.

Tahlee Rouillon 0:33
The smell of freshly baked bread you kneaded by hand, a simple walk in the park, painting, writing, music, knitting photography, ceramics, all these things hold a weight they rarely did before. In the larger scheme of things, creativity was kind of considered a luxury or a bit pointless. A fun little activity that you did if you had time after work.

Tahlee Rouillon 1:00
But when crisis hits, creativity is often the thing that saves us. And today’s guest is no exception. You’re listening to the Seekers’ Sanctuary, a show about creating sanctuary in life, work, relationships and home so you can embrace a life that matters to you. I’m your host Tahlee.

Tahlee Rouillon 1:21
On today’s episode, I speak with Susannah Conway, author, photographer and teacher who’s been sharing her heart online for over a decade. Susannah helps people know trust and express themselves better by teaching the tools that helped her heal her own heart and live a creative and self directed life. We talk about what shallow living looked like for her; the hugely pivotal moment that catapulted her into a much deeper life; how much creativity and deep living are intertwined. Plus, Susannah shares her intimate journey into perimenopause. By the way, this episode contains a few swear bears. Enjoy.

Tahlee Rouillon 2:08
Hi, Susannah! Welcome to the Seekers’ Sanctuary podcast.

Susannah Conway 2:12
Thank you lovely, it’s a pleasure to be here.

Tahlee Rouillon 2:15
I’m so excited to talk to you. Because it’s been a while since we chatted.

Tahlee Rouillon 2:23
And I just feel like because we’re talking about deep living in this series, and I wanted to specifically talk to you about you know, deep living through creativity. And I felt like you were sort of the epitome in my mind of that because you’ve been living and running a creative business for what seems like years and years now.

Susannah Conway 2:49
It’s been over a decade. Yeah. Can you believe it?

Tahlee Rouillon 2:52
Wow, wow. Yeah. Amazing.

Tahlee Rouillon 2:56
So, I know we’re gonna get into some really juicy, lovely stuff a bit later on. But I would love to start off with finding out if there was any time in your life when you were living a shallow life.

Susannah Conway 3:11
Yeah, of course, God, of course, I was. Mainly in my 20s, I would say. And that was purely because I was younger. And I was still figuring stuff out and still figuring out who I was and what I wanted and where I was headed. And I think that’s common. Probably for most people at that point in your life, you know, you’ve only just come out of your teens, you might have headed off to college or started working or, you know, whatever you’re doing, you’re trying to figure it out. And everyone’s telling you, you’re an adult now. So you should know, you should know what you’re doing. But of course we don’t. And you you learn by trying stuff out and, and and trying put different personas on and you know, just trying to figure out what feels true to you.

Susannah Conway 3:56
So in my 20s I was I was at college for quite a number of years actually I studied twice. I was living with my ex boyfriend, I moved up to London, I ended up working as a journalist, which isn’t necessarily a shallow profession. But I was mainly writing about fashion. I was a fashion editor for a while. And so I mean, I wasn’t I wasn’t living my deepest life, I’d say.

Susannah Conway 4:23
But I’ve always been a journaler. I started writing a journal when I was 11. So I’ve always been questioning and sort of trying to fathom my brain out. I’ve always had questions. So that was going on alongside what I was doing in my in my day to day world.

Susannah Conway 4:42
But I was in a relationship. I was very scared to be out of that relationship. So we stay together far longer than we should have done. And I wasn’t… I was just really young, I think is probably the best way of putting it. I was just really young and I was trying to do my best.

Susannah Conway 5:01
But it wasn’t until I got to the beginning of my 30s. And when I went through my bereavement, that I actually was given this opportunity, which didn’t feel like it at the time, but I was given an opportunity to dig into my into my life and find out who I really was. So I’d say my 20s was when I wasn’t, I was sort of skimming the surface a bit. Because I didn’t, I didn’t know that I could go deeper. I wasn’t, I wasn’t feeling brave enough to go deeper, perhaps. So it took a while to get there. But thankfully, I did in the end.

Tahlee Rouillon 5:37
I love that you just said you didn’t feel brave enough to go deeper? Because I mean, if you’re keeping a journal, since you’re 11 years old. I feel like there’s there is a curiosity there clearly. Where do you think the bravery to start investigating and deeper life comes from or maybe came from for you.

Susannah Conway 6:02
For me, it was a it’s something happened. And I basically I left my 10 year relationship, fell in love with someone else quite quickly as you do when you’re scared to be on your own. And we were together for two years. And then he died really suddenly from a heart attack. So when that happened, I couldn’t do my usual behavior of “Oh well, I’ll just be with someone else then”… I was thrown into being completely on my own as I went through that storm of, you know, bereavement and grief and everything that came afterwards. So I was forced to be on my own. And, and I often think, you know, if he hadn’t, hadn’t have died, I probably, I probably be a very different person. Now, I don’t know if I would have faced all the shadows in myself that I had to face when that happened. But no, but it did happen.

Susannah Conway 6:52
And I, yeah, I had to be brave to survive that. And I think I for the first year, I grieved really, really hard. And I found a therapist, and started untangling all the shit that was in me, because it wasn’t just the loss of him and the relationship, it was all the stuff from my 10 year relationship I hadn’t dealt with, all the stuff on my childhood I hadn’t dealt with. So there was just this enormous pile of dark stuff I had to, I had to sift through and, and find places for and just figure it out. And it was really fucking hard.

Susannah Conway 7:32
But it was also, I can now say all these years later, like one of the best things that ever happened to me, because I did find myself. And the bravery came in because I had to look at some really dark stuff. And stuff that no one would particularly want to look at. And it’s not that I had the most traumatic childhood, I mean, stuff happened that’s taken a long time to untangle. But looking at our hard stuff, looking at our dark places is really scary. Because no one particularly wants to do that you don’t wake up and think I’m gonna look at all my shit today. You know, you don’t want to do that.

Susannah Conway 8:34
So yeah, so yeah, God bravery. So much bravery is needed, because you’re looking at scary stuff. But the amazing thing is, once you start looking at it, you only ever look at it for the first time once because then you come back to it, you come back to it, and slowly it starts to dissipate in it. You work through it, you know, the first time only happens once. So it is a process. And obviously going through bereavement made it all kind of come together all at once. But normally, if you’re not going through something quite as dramatic as that you can work with a therapist, you can get into a journal practice, you can start meditation, you can do different practices to help you start going inward and looking at what’s inside there. And you can sort of bring it into your, your sort of daily routine. It doesn’t have to be “right I’m gonna go away for a month and figure it all out”. You can just integrate it in and start coming in with that bit of curiosity about about who you are, you know, it’s totally possible you don’t have to go through a big trauma.

Tahlee Rouillon 9:37
Thank God.

Susannah Conway 9:38
Thank God. Phew! I hope everyone is now breathing a sign of relief.

Tahlee Rouillon 9:46
Absolutely! I’m really curious. I think maturity does play a huge role in in, you know, coming more into understanding who we are and what is important, what matters to us. And of course, I think it is easier to get caught up in shallow leaving when we’re younger. But what were your, I suppose, markers or a definition of a shallow life for you back then?

Susannah Conway 10:18
I was very concerned with my appearance, you know what I look like, how I was perceived by other people. Hence, working in fashion probably reflected that. When I think about my ex boyfriend, you know, how he was treating me, what we were doing together, what we were going to do, I never really thought about what I brought to the relationship, it’s always what he could do for me. So that feels like quite a surface level thing. I wasn’t going deep in the relationship, even though we were together for so long. It didn’t seem to go deeper than than the surface of my skin somehow. I mean, but yes, you’re right, it was about being very, very young.

Susannah Conway 10:59
And I was as a teenager, I mean, I’m fortunate that I, you know, I never had an eating disorder. My dysfunctional stuff never really came out in that way. But I was always incredibly self conscious, and very caught up in, you know, what I look like, was I pretty enough, you know, all of that stuff that seems very important when you’re so young, because obviously, the world is telling you that that’s what’s important, you know, that our value as women, is how we look. And of course, we all know, that’s total shit. But that’s what we’re taught and is still being taught. And it’s what the media around us reflects, it’s even worse with social media now in our value is our appearance. And I really, really believed that, you know, I was a teenager in the 80s. So it was just sort of shoved down my throat. And it looks bad with the internet now, but believe me, it still bled through to me, even back then there weren’t enough girls magazines, and you know, TV stuff, and pop stars and all the shit that we think’s important. Just affected me. It did. So, yeah, I was really, really concerned with my appearance. And so again, that’s also just goes as far as the surface of my skin. You know, I just couldn’t seem to see beyond that. I didn’t believe that there was anything beyond that. I didn’t believe I had any more value than what I look like. So that bled deeply into my 20s.

Susannah Conway 12:26
I was, I suppose fed by the career path I thought I wanted to take, which was fashion and journalism. So I was skating along the surface for yeah, for quite a long time, really. And yes, do all the journaling. But if I look back on those journals, because I’ve kept every single notebook I’ve ever written in… Well I don’t believe in burning them, I like to have that archive. I mean, I don’t dip back in that often. But I just like having them.

Susannah Conway 12:51
And if I look back through my teens, and my 20s, my journaling then is pretty surface. I mean, there might be a lot of, you know, dissatisfaction with God, he did this, he did that. Why won’t he do this? Why won’t he do that? I want us to do this. And I could see little threads of of dissatisfaction. And there’s got to be more. But I didn’t know how to look for more yet. I hadn’t figured that piece out. So it was Yes, skating along the surface, thinking that’s what mattered. Still being quite influenced by outside forces, still thinking that we know, we love each other, we should really get married. And all of that stuff that I thought mattered. And it actually it doesn’t matter at all. But that’s what I’d been taught.

Tahlee Rouillon 13:35
Why do you think our society is so addicted to shallow living?

Susannah Conway 13:40
Fuck, I wish I knew! I wish I had an answer for that with an amazing response. I think it’s easier. It’s easy to live in a shallow place. You know, you don’t have to look at your stuff. You don’t have to look at your shadows. You don’t have to hold yourself accountable for anything. It’s you know, it’s not your responsibility. Because you’re living the shallow life. You know, it’s easier we like to chase the dopamine hits of, you know, the likes on Instagram and the praise and the appreciation from other people. It’s all very external. You know, it’s all depending on what other people think about us.

Susannah Conway 14:20
It irritates me so much. The shallow living you know, I mean, everyone is entitled to do what’s right for them. I’m not saying there’s one way, but life just gets a bit more interesting when you start looking at other ways of doing things, you know, when you go off script. It just gets a bit richer, and feels a little bit more worthwhile. But I mean, everyone must do what’s right for them. You know, I totally believe that way. It’s just never really worked for me. I’ve, I’ve been off script for a while now.

Tahlee Rouillon 14:54
What’s been the most rewarding thing about being off script?

Susannah Conway 14:58
All of it. It’s great.

Susannah Conway 15:00
It’s not perfect, and I’m a very highly sensitive, empathic, introverted, PMS having soul. So I feel everything quite deeply. And sometimes living a deep and rich life is actually quite painful because I’d rather just skim along the surface, that would be a lot easier.

Susannah Conway 15:21
I really value having a deeper connection inward. You know, like, I’m not a religious person, I never have been. But I do believe that the Universe slash God slash Goddess, all of that stuff, I believe is in us, is what we made of. So having a richer connection, a deeper connection to that feels delicious. And I am able to trust myself, which I really value, you know, like I don’t, I don’t tend to look to other people for answers anymore. I just know, I’ll find them inside me. And that’s amazing.

Susannah Conway 15:57
It means that my friendships are deeper now, which I really value. I don’t have millions of friends. I’m quite a lone wolf. And I’m really happy in that space. And being that way. Now that I understand that about myself. But it does mean that the friends that are in my life, they really matter to me, you know, they they’re really important. And we talk about stuff that matters. And still have a laugh, but you know, that’s good.

Susannah Conway 16:23
I’m really close to my sister. That means a lot to me. I’m close to my nephews. I have a cat I adore. Everything just feels a bit more meaningful. You know, like, if I love you, I really fucking love you. And you’ll know. I love my cat so much. It’s, yeah, everything’s just juicier and feels more precious to me. So I like it that way. I do. I don’t really want to skim the surface.

Susannah Conway 16:57
Everything’s just a bit more poignant, maybe. And it doesn’t mean I’m walking around in tears all the time. Although sometimes, I honestly, could. My bloody hormones. I just be crying about everything all the time. But no, everything is just, yeah, just tastier and juicier, and just more beautiful. And I really appreciate that. And I’m glad for that.

Tahlee Rouillon 17:22
I definitely resonate with you know, I’m also highly sensitive and empathic. And that feeling of life can be very overwhelming. And I probably do cry most days.

Tahlee Rouillon 17:35
Right?! Yeah.

Tahlee Rouillon 17:39
Yes, and I’m okay with that these days. But that the sense that it is richer and more rewarding, to go deeper into my sensitivity, to go deeper into myself, to form deeper connections with my loved ones. It sort of balances, not even balances, but I feel like the rewards are greater. Yes, the pain might be greater. And yes, the feelings and the sensations are greater. But that also means the joy and the lightness is greater.

Susannah Conway 18:12
Yes. 100%. Yes. Yeah, no, it’s the same for me.

Tahlee Rouillon 18:17
Do you feel like your creativity spiked as you went deeper into yourself?

Susannah Conway 18:26
Oh, my God. Yes. 1,000% Yes. That’s when it all started really. I mean, I’ve always been, I was always the girl at school in the art room painting. You know, I’ve always been that girl. And like I said, journaling from 11, and that’s crazy now I think about it. But I studied photography at college and also journalism and writing.

Susannah Conway 18:51
So the photos and words have always been there. But it wasn’t until I went through that fire, that it all came together. And I did have this amazing like renaissance of creativity. And it was in the first, actually no, it was in the second year of my bereavement. That’s when I bought a digital camera because I’d always had film cameras. I bought a digital camera and started going out and using it and practicing with it and going on artists dates. I’d just read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and was super inspired by that. And so I take myself out on these artists days just to get out of the house and just be in the world again, and I take all these photos. I started blogging. And creativity is the fuel that feeds me now. And looking back, I guess it was always there, but it got kind of smothered by all the day to day relationship-y stuff that I thought was more important.

Susannah Conway 19:49
And then once I was on my own and going through that fire, it’s like it all rushed in and was there for me. So yes, creativity is my, well, I think I can say it’s my greatest joy. Because it’s something I do every day. I feel so I’m so, so grateful to be able to do this as the way I pay my rent. You know, that’s amazing to me. I don’t even know what I would do for work. Now if I had to get a nine to five job, I dunno what I’d do. I mean, I’ve been self employed one way or another for about 16 years now, which is insane.

Tahlee Rouillon 20:27
Wow, that’s amazing!

Susannah Conway 20:29
Yeah, it’s like “Wow, has it really been that long?” I mean, off and on. But doing my work online for it’ll be nearly 11 years now. So yeah, it just feels like my mission now. This is, this is what I live and breathe. And, you know, I feel very grateful to be able to teach it and share it and, you know, pass it on.

Tahlee Rouillon 20:53
You’re so inspiring.

Tahlee Rouillon 20:58
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Tahlee Rouillon 21:10
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Tahlee Rouillon 22:15
So how do you support yourself in this deep life? You know, what are your go to tools and practices or rituals?

Susannah Conway 22:26
Journaling is my main touchstone and I don’t necessarily journal every day, I don’t I mean, there are so many different ways to journal. So you know, and I think they’re all brilliant. Anything that gets you writing something down, it doesn’t even have to be in a notebook, you could do it in a Word document or whatever, just a little bit of self reflection is what matters. I always use a moleskin. It’s my preferred tool. And I journal as and when I need it. So if I’m going through something a bit difficult, I might be journaling every single day, and I will have my notebook near me, when I’m working, it will be in my bag when I go out. And if I need to sit down and write something down, I will. So there’s no set time for it. I’m definitely a sort of reactive journaler and if I need it, I’ll do it. And if things are sort of swimming along, and I feel okay, I might not pick up my notebook for a week or two or three, you know, it’s as and when I need it.

Susannah Conway 23:25
Meditation is important. Again, I’m not a “got to do it every morning” person. Anything that makes me feel hemmed in and locked into doing something, I will always rebel. That just makes me want to run away. So I let it fit what I need in the moment that I need it. I have a lot of Tarot decks and Oracle decks, which I really enjoy using, not because I’m trying to predict the future because I don’t really believe in that. I use them to help me figure out what’s going on inside me. So I’m using these like almost like art prompts. And I see what I see in the cards to help me reflect on how I feel. So it’s like the inkblot test is how I use them. So that’s really handy. And they’re also really lovely things to use for journaling, as well, you know, is like what are you seeing in the cards? Let me write about it. So that all blends in together.

Susannah Conway 24:24
This year, I’ve been getting back into reading fiction, and I’m finding that incredibly supportive, bizarrely, something that doesn’t involve work has felt like a really delicious thing to do. So I’ve been getting into short stories. It’s been like my gateway drug. Now I’m reading a few more novels, but figuring out the fiction that I wanted to read. And then sort of following the breadcrumbs and finding other authors. That’s just been really delicious thing that I’ve given myself this year and I’m really enjoying it.

Susannah Conway 24:58
But my main way of supporting myself really is making sure I have enough alone time. So understanding that I’m introverted, and I’m confident with it, I’m not a shy introvert. But I do need lots of time on my own. And luckily, I live on my own, I work from home. So I do have enough. But it’s just recognizing, getting the right balance for me of the correct amount of alone time. And then noticing when actually, I need to go out today, I really need to spend some time with someone today. And so booking in dates with friends and knowing when maybe I want to go to a market or just go to a museum or get out the house. So I’ve been doing much better at balancing the alone time that I really need. But making sure I don’t let it become too much. I can have too much alone time. So I’m getting better at the you know, the balancing. And that’s just a work in progress. And because I don’t have a partner at the moment, you know, there isn’t someone coming home in the evening from work and sort of breaking up that alone time. So I just have to be a bit more conscious of knowing when I need to leave the house really. So yes, all of that kind of works for me really.

Tahlee Rouillon 26:13
It really sounds to me like the years that you have spent in introspection and being committed to going deeper, has had this sort of dual effect of not only enriching your life, but also your your creativity and your art. It’s sort of like this, I’m seeing like a yin and yang symbol, it’s like, there couldn’t have been the creativity without the deep living and there couldn’t have been the depth without the creativity because you sound so sure of who you are, and what you need and how you can support yourself in that. And I just feel like that is just this incredible way that you’ve kind of figured it out for yourself.

Susannah Conway 27:09
Thank you. Well, thank you for seeing that and reflecting it to me. Yeah, I think it’s true. A part of it, you know, what really is just getting older, getting older is great. I mean, it’s absolutely great. I really, my 40s have been my absolute best decade. I really like I really like myself. And it’s taken me a lot of years to be able to say that without cringing, but like I dig myself. Like I would be friends with me. That’s, you know, the highest compliment I can’t give myself. But yeah, but I also know, the shit things about me like I could give you a big long list. The annoying things about me like I’m fully aware of everything. But yeah, I just like what to do, the creativity and the way I live. It’s all muddled up together. You know, I teach what I teach, and I work the way I work because it’s all I know, it’s what I know, and I want to pass it on.

Susannah Conway 28:10
Of course, the thing that not many people are talking about (although we’re starting to) the thing that I didn’t know that when you come into your 40s, that’s when your hormones start changing. And so my thing that I’m working with the most at the moment is perimenopause. Because no one ever told me that it starts in your 40s. I thought I’d be somewhere in my 50s. You know, my periods will stop or I’ll get a hot flash like that’ll be what’s going to happen. And I have no idea that that actually no, that’s that’s not how it works. At some point in your and it can happen in your late 30s. But definitely coming into your 40s, your estrogen levels start dropping, everything starts changing. And it’s not just hot flashes. I haven’t had a hot flash haven’t had one. But what has been happening for me is my sleep has gone to shit. I’ve got 11 symptoms out of a possible 34 that are associated with perimenopause. And I’ve been doing all this research to figure out and find out what’s going on with my body because I didn’t know and I didn’t understand. And I’ve had all these sleep issues for the last three years. But it’s only this year that I realized, Oh, it’s connected to perimenopause. Because at no point did any doctor that I went to see about all my sleep issues. No one said Oh, but how old are you Miss Conway? Let’s have a look at that. No one mentioned it, no one asked me about my periods. Nothing, nothing was said. And it doesn’t seem to be something that’s particularly talked about. I certainly didn’t talk about it in my 20s or 30s.

Susannah Conway 29:51
Like I had this vague idea of it will happen at some point. But that was it. And “oh well, it’s in the future, so I won’t worry about it”. So of course, now here I am over here, and it’s like, oh, I think this is quite a big deal, we’ll need to talk about it a bit more. So my mission of late has been to talk about it. So I’m talking about it on social media, and in the letters I send out to my, my group of people that receive my monthly emails. And I’ve gonna talk about it more on the blog, and I’m just figuring out, you know, what it means for me, and how I want to look after myself, but also just sort of get the message out there a bit more.

Susannah Conway 30:35
It’s something that comes to all women, you know, it’s actually really important. We talk about our periods. Now we talk about our menstrual cycles, we’ve got our period app, we talk about birth, and contraception and smears, and all of these things that have been really normalized. You know, there’s no shame attached to having a period anymore, like there was for my mum’s generation. This feels like the kind of the last piece of that because it’s as important as all the stuff that I’ve just mentioned. But it’s still shrouded in this kind of mystery. And all of these false ideas that are well, it’s just, you know, women being really hot and sweaty, and dry sick, and suffering all these things. It’s like, actually, no, that’s the cliche. It’s not quite that it could be. But there are other things going on, and there are things you can do to support yourself.

Susannah Conway 31:31
I didn’t have children in this lifetime, that wasn’t meant for me. And, you know, I’ve done a lot of work to find my peace with that. But that hasn’t stopped my body functioning as if I would have had kids. And now, I’m coming to the end of my fertile years. So, you know, there’s so many layers of stuff. And, you know, coming through perimenopause, and eventually, my periods will stop, and, you know, I’ll be post menopausal. And so I’m, my body’s not going to be running on this cycle that I’ve been so used to having, you know, since I started bleeding as a, as a teen, you know, my body is changing in a literal way, like, the function of it is changing. And so that brings other awareness with it, and questions about, you know, what is my purpose going forward?

Susannah Conway 32:27
You know, I’ve done a lot of workshops, as you can probably tell about menopause and what it means. And I’ve done a lot of research, and there’s this feeling of sadness, that my menstruating years are coming to an end. I’m recognizing that I was quite attached to that part of me as a woman, but I can also see how there is this possibility for stepping into a more powerful sense of who I am, without having the menstrual stuff dictating how my body works. So I think really, what I’m trying to say the thread of all of this is sharing our stories, so we feel less alone.

Susannah Conway 33:12
That’s why the internet and social media, as potentially damaging as it can be, it’s also incredibly powerful, because we can see ourselves reflected in other people’s experiences. And so when you start living on a slightly deeper level than just the surface, it’s not all about Instagram selfies. When you go that little bit deeper, and you start sharing that with others, we all start recognizing each other, and recognizing our experiences, and that collective amount of wisdom. I mean, that could change the world, you know, when we start talking and sharing. So that’s my mission, I think, is just to keep talking about the truth of this stuff. You know, and I’m sure when I’m in my 50s, I’m going to be blathering on about what it’s like to be in their life. You can’t shut me up.

Susannah Conway 34:07
I just got to keep talking. That’s the meaning of life.

Tahlee Rouillon 34:12
Oh, fantastic. Thank you for clearing that up. I literally have goosebumps, I feel like those last sentences were channeled from from beyond. I totally recognize you as a storyteller. And as a connector. I see that in your work. And you make the private public and you forge those connections through your community, through your writing through your photography, through your art. And it’s just so wonderful to hear that this is such a deep part of your mission and being that sort of torchbearer for others too, so thank you.

Susannah Conway 34:54
Thank you.

Tahlee Rouillon 34:55
Thank you so much for all that you have shared today. That was just brilliant.

Susannah Conway 35:01
Thanks love. I think there’s a lot of people online who have much bigger audiences and have louder voices and big marketing teams. And, and that’s great, you know, they are on their mission. But this is what is meaningful to me. And I’m doing it in a much smaller way. My audience and my reach are smaller compared to some of the, you know, the big stars online. But the other bit of it for me is I’m doing it in a way that I can handle, you know, like, the most important thing about how I’ve created my business, because I didn’t set out to create a business it was a bit of a fluke, when it happened, like there was no mission plan at all, I’ve had to make it all up as I go along, was to create, was to find a way to work in a way that felt nourishing to me, and honored how I like to do stuff. Like I don’t want to be in an office, I want to be at home, I want to be able to set my own hours, I want to be able to take a Tuesday off and just snuggle with my cat all day if I need to, I want to be able to work all weekend, if I feel inspired. I want my business to feel like a really lovely, cozy cashmere blanket and not a straight jacket.

Susannah Conway 36:16
And I’ve said that in a podcast before and I was like, Oh my god, that was brilliant. Because that’s exactly exactly what it is. You know, I want my business to be this really yummy, delicious thing that I get to play in. And sometimes I’ve got to do admin staff. And that’s really annoying. And it’s not all it’s not all Rainbows, believe me. But I’ve really intentionally built it very organically, you know, bit by bit in a way that supports me. And so the way I show up online, like I’m never gonna do a webinar. That’s never gonna happen, man, because that just looks like torture to me. I’m never gonna do a TED talk. You know, somebody actually asked me to do one in London. And I’m like, no way. But that feels like torture. So like, I know where my limits are. And but I’ll always say yes to summit that feels yummy. Like having a chat with you. Fantastic. I’d love to do that. But doing a TED talk, no fucking way. I’m not doing that.

Tahlee Rouillon 37:12
I feel like I could talk to you for hours. But I do have one final question for you. I would love to know, what are you really excited about at the moment?

Susannah Conway 37:22
Well, without wanting to be Mrs Work, I’m really excited about the new work thing I’m doing because that’s occupying my brain a lot. I’m launching a monthly subscription slash community space in the next few weeks, which is something I’ve wanted to do for so long! And it’s taken me this long to figure it out. But the way I normally work is I run these courses that lasts for six weeks. And each day you get an email from me with the course content, or the video or whatever it is. And without fail for all of these years, people get to the end of the course they’re like how can I I’m really gonna miss your emails. Like they really enjoy having that regular support and regular contact. So I’ve heard that. And I’ve been I’ve been feeling that as well. So I’m like, I’d like to do something regular and ongoing. And not just we’ve got six weeks together. And then it comes to an end, like, how can we all be together? But ongoing.

Susannah Conway 38:22
So that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. And so it’s, it’s called the Unraveled Heart. And it’s going to be this Yeah, really, lovely, I haven’t quite found the words to describe it. It’s like a membership, but it’s like a community. But it’s like a subscription. There’s like all of those things together. But it just means that you’re going to hear from me, like weekly. And we’re going to do stuff together and just have that sort of gentle support that’s ongoing. And we’re going to dig deeper into who we are. So I’m excited for that. I mean, it’s not a word I use a lot. I have to say I’m a pretty chilled out, quiet introvert. I’m excited for my work thing. And I’m excited to just, you know, live my life, really. Yeah, that’s what I want. I just want to live my life. Yeah.

Tahlee Rouillon 39:11
Ah, this has been so great. I’m really just so chuffed to have had this conversation with you. Thank you.

Susannah Conway 39:19
Thank you. It’s always nice when I do something like this because it helps me kind of get a clearer idea of what I’m doing. You know, like, I know what I’m doing. But then talking about it, you’re like “Oh, yeah, that’s what I’m doing.” I do it every single time. There’s always a new little piece of the diamond. We’re like, "Oh, it’s that? Yeah, thank you for helping me figure out a little facet of my stuff. Thank you.

Tahlee Rouillon 39:46
Such pleasure. Well, we shall wrap it up, I guess and I will say thank you again. And I will say farewell.

Susannah Conway 40:01
Fare the well.

Tahlee Rouillon 40:04
Thank you Susannah

Susannah Conway 40:06
Thank you love.

Thank you for listening to the Seekers’ Sanctuary podcast. I’ve been your host Tahlee.

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